Facebook (Online) Dating-The Good, Bad and Ugly.

ImageHave you ever listened to this song by Taylor Swift We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together? I do. And every time the tune plays, Facebook memories envelope me. The bitching, the cursing associated with break ups, the type that I see almost so often on Facebook. Brief and Uncertain. I find it entertaining to watch its life cycle. Trust me, most of them never last. Yes, some of them do. Or so the couples claim. Most however, are summarized as Friend Request, Liking each other’s status updates and photos, Updating the relationship status, Exchanging profile pictures/ Adopting a name from each other, /Removing Each other as Friends and completely blocking each other. Brief.

There are two types of Facebook love. Those born online which are purely based on what the people have portrayed on their profiles or the statuses they update. Then there is the second type that uses Facebook as their surrogate parent. Kind of born elsewhere and adopted by Facebook. Bottom line, at some point in the cycle they entirely rely on online presence and whatever transpires there to either keep going or reach their abrupt halt.

Facebook Born Love.

ImageRelationships require a foundation of some kind to be guaranteed of its survival. Love born online may stand the test of time. However, unlike actual physical dating it may more often than not be founded on lies and make believe. If I were to date online, for example, I would portray myself as the ideal guy. The guy of the girl’s dream. Having the solution to each and every of the distressed lady’s nightmares. I would give textbook responses I read on how to be the perfect gentleman and make the lady wonder why we never met like yesterday already. I would make her feel like with me she would never run dry. All this because it is easier to lie online. All I have to do is to create the perfect account with all the best photos I have ever taken of myself, mostly selfies. I would then share them via instagram with the best smiles I could ever rehearse and make that lady feel like my online appearance was of cupids own making. Perfect, right? Well these are the foundations of relationships born online. Where a street cleaner went to Harvard and that all slum dwellers proclaim the boring life associated with living in Kileleshwa.

Facebook born relationships are mostly rebounds from previous relationships. The anticipated fall into the sweet nothings we all like to hear so as to feel emotionally lifted. Some are from stalking that reaped successes while others purely from common sexual interests in term of orientation. Flirts that just seem to pick up on a lazy afternoon or a sleepless night. Or much better, old fiends that recently met online and decided to hit the road running while the engine was still hot! And whether it started from that hot picture streaming down your newsfeed or that bugging inbox message that finally caught your attention, it is all a part of the trade. More often than not you see and hear the things you want to see and hear. The very things you long to hear.

Facebook Bred Love.

ImageThis is the second and most common type. The type associated with all the Public Displays of Affections (PDA’s). In this type of dating, there is physical presence. However there is online presence too. Couples who subscribe to this type of relationships need to tread carefully. As much as Facebook may soar your ratings as far as more consistent couples are concerned, it will not guarantee you the security of keeping your partner. Most people who subscribe to this type of dating are actually out to mark their territories! They want to look taken. This is especially so that their Ex’s can see just how much they behave moved on. How well they are doing since their last breakups. To this brand of couples, everything on Facebook matters. The stuff their partners post; the statuses or posts they like or even photos they get tagged on! A lot of explanation is necessary. Almost all conversations move from offline to online then online to offline. To those who like marking territories, it is a sure sign of insecurity. Being too possessive. You don’t walk with your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s photo on your forehead, do you?

Facebook hook ups are almost as dramatic as the breakups. At the height of the passion, it is all merry. The singles like us just watch and smile knowingly. From the blossoming days to the more difficult days when complaints about not being texted that day start appearing. Or maybe proclamations of loneliness? Then follow the rants about how men are dogs (Or how women are bitches?) Not all are as dramatic though; others are more silent. In the height of the blossoming relationship you exchange profile pictures, the kind that makes old friends seeking you out on Facebook to wonder whether you exchanged sexes…Or maybe you adopt one of the names of your partners? (I find this silly). When the break up beckons the photos are reversed. The constant tags on each and every posts and updates die down and friends like me, get the signal loud and clear!

If you ask me, I would say keep your relationship issues off Facebook. I mean we are friends yes but you don’t go shouting your relationship issues to your entire neighborhood, do you? Not everyone needs to know that you’re heartbroken. You don’t have to begin every conversation in my status update with sweetheart if both of you appeared on it. And when you break up, don’t bitch about it. Relax, keep it cool and you will soon be taken again, that is life. Winning and losing.

It is okay for you to do whatever you like, it is your Facebook account after all. Only be careful.

Ooko Victor

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