I love the English Premier League (EPL),well, it was recently renamed the Barclays Premier League after a lucrative sponsorship deal was sealed with the bankers, Barclays. I don’t know whether they operate on other lines apart from the banking front as is known here in Kenya! And yes, am Kenyan so I will be analyzing the local fans. And trust me, they’re all over! Turn your head to the right and you will see someone who fits the bill! Arsenal written all over the face! Yeah,it gets that serious.
1.The Cool Witted
I know that maybe, just maybe most of you probably do not agree with my first choice of analysis. I mean, there are cool Arsenal fans. The type that are just there! They have probably watched more matches than you could have probably called your name. They are the relaxed type. They don’t flinch a muscle when the team loses! Don’t think they don’t feel the burning inside their guts! I have seen them toast to to hard earned wins. And wear the ‘did you doubt we’d come back and beat them?’ kinda looks whenever the game had cast any doubt earlier on .They respect Arsene Wenger (their coach) no natter the outcome of the game and find it totally unreasonable that Chelsea has had close to 10 different managers in the last 8 years!They are waiting for a trophy, 9 years on and not a tinge of impatience!Don’t you just love them?(Wenger definitely does! You see I share something in common with the professor!)
2.The Noisy Nuggets.
Don’t get me wrong! This is hardly personal! And nuggets was the best I could come up with(Am smiling) good, don’t you think?I mean, most of them are usually just a bunch of new recruits, right?Just recently joined the ranks of frustrated fans only to become much better at the frustration thing …Watch them win a match and you will totally lose your concentration! Moving their builds with every touch and miss the player gets! You will be lucky to come out without a blow on your face if you happen to openly fanaticize a rival team during play. And it won’t be a personal punch. Not at all, just the reflexes associated with the ‘front of the screen’ antics .If at all you came from a holy ground just to catch this much hyped match, then come braved for the trending rant of obscenities by the time you hit the road for home. These guys, don’t mince words! They want Wenger out like yesterday! Even the fact that he recently signed a new contract guaranteeing to keep him at the Emirates Stadium for a while longer forms a part of the distasteful in-tray they’ve had to live with.
3.The Perennial Hopefuls.
Don’t get it twisted with these guys! If optimism could move mountains… I tend to believe that the verse about not losing faith was meant for these guys! They totally move it to a whole new level. 9 years and counting! I mean, man, just how long can you hold on waiting for the cookie, every time getting even closer only to come out empty handed!if the jar is not wide enough to let your finger inside, you improvise! Go for the Capital One Cup or the FA…But if your finger still doesn’t fit the cookie jar, do you move on? Well, it pains to see them get hurt,season after season after another season! The hope dies down, doesn’t it? Well, it must be tempting to say the least… These guys however just never run dry of hoping and waiting and hoping even more! Their emotions with Wenger are lukewarm. Dependent on the next game. And the next, and the one thereafter. They are rational, or at least they try to be… Like when they signed the Russian forward Andrey Arshavinne or when Moroccan Maroune Chamakh joined their attacking ranks and impressing in the first few!These guys make a big deal of their excitement! New signings inspire the hope more than anything else!
With the season almost over now, having landed German internationals Lucas Podolski and Mesut Ozil, this is what I may say appears to have been their best stab at the title since 2006!And with the less celebrated Olivier Giroud mounting a sound attack upfront, only the next 10 games stand between them and the light at the end of the tunnel!(Never mind the free scoring Manchester City and the Marauding Blues clearly favorites,not to mention the resurged Reds)
4.The Mood Swingers
I prefer to call them cry babies!Man these people can cry! Do you remember that emotional Yang F.C fan?The ni sisi mashabiki ndio tunaumia (it us soccer fans who get hurt ) breakdown? I was surprised that he wasn’t a Gooner! I mean, this guys can curse and carry the mood the whole week till the next match! See them win a match and you will have the best and most vibrant friend around. And vice versa is true. The nine years of waiting has gone to their heads and they’d rather trade their lives for an extra pinch of that frustration! They have had enough and are contemplating the last resort to get away from all this! I would would trade anything to be away from these people when they’re on the losing side. I rarely have kind words for perennial losers who just refuse to move on! They’d rather die trying! Isn’t it?
Please read this fair banter with an open mind (and heart) and spare me the outpour of heartaches.
Lots of love,
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